Print out two copies of these questions. Take one and give the other to your fiancé and take two blank pieces of paper each also. Go to separate rooms to complete these questions. When you are finished, there are more instructions at the bottom.

1. Write down any scriptures or other readings for your wedding (or make sure to bring them with you).

2. Write down your favorite lines from any solos being sung at your wedding or from your First Dance song.

3. Write down any favorite quotes you may have or sayings that have been meaningful to your relationship.

4. On the blank piece of paper you brought with you, write a letter to your fiancé using the following instructions:

• Begin with a salutation that is very heartfelt; For example, "My Dearest...” or something to that effect.
  
  
• In the first paragraph, tell him/her how much s/he means to you and your life.
  
  
• Begin the next paragraph with the words, "It seems like only yesterday that..." Run with it.
  
  
• In the next paragraph tell him/her how you felt when you realized you were in love with them.
  
  
• In this paragraph, tell him or her what marriage means to you. What aspects of being married are you looking forward to? What are some of your fears? How are you going to address these fears if and when they come about?
  
  
• Finally, close your letter with words of love and thanksgiving for your significant other.

1. Now, get back together with your fiancé and switch both this paper and the letters you have written.

2. When you are finished reading each other's papers, go back through and underline your favorite sentences or words of your fiancé's answers and letter.

3. Now, discuss.

4. On another sheet of paper, write down your brainstorms. Start your vows with something close to the effect of "I ______, take you, ______." or, "I ______ choose you, _______". This will get the ball rolling. Continue writing, using the sentences and words you found most meaningful to you and your relationship.

5. If you need an example of traditional vows, this might help you:

"In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

6. Now, make a copy of your vows for both of you. Stand up, hold hands, and give it a try. When you read your vows look into his or her eyes and pretend that you are actually standing at your wedding. If you find yourself coming close to tears, your attempts have been a success!

First, be certain to do this when you and your fiancé can be alone. You won't want others to disturb you, so ensure that you can have some privacy. Each of you should grab a stack of paper and a pen or pencil.

1. Set a time limit for how long you are going work separately. Agree to rejoin each other in a half hour or so.

2. Go to separate rooms. Make sure you are comfortable and not worried about being disturbed.

3. Write a letter to your fiancé telling them why you love them. Do not make this short and sweet. Instead, elaborate, go in-depth, and be creative.

4. Write 2-3 of your favorite times together - the times when you laughed so hard you cried, or when s/he was there for you, or an inside joke, or something that happened long ago that you haven't thought about it in a long time.

5. Write down the scriptures, quotes, and songs that you are using at your wedding. Reflect on these and write what they mean to you or the most important part of them.

6. Now, get back together and either switch papers, or take turns reading your letters and stories to one another

7. When you are finished crying and hugging and smiling, talk about what you thought were the best parts of each of your letters and stories. Are there a few things you can pick out that you could say as vows? To help you out, most traditional vows go something like this:

• "In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."
  
  
• Here is an example of how you could write your vows with a "From This Moment" theme:
  
  
• "From this moment, I, Name, take you, Name, as my best friend for life. I pledge to honor, encourage, and support you through our walk together. When our way becomes difficult, I promise to stand by you and uplift you, so that through our union we can accomplish more than we could alone. I promise to work at our love and always make you a priority in my life. With every beat of my heart, I will love you. This is my solemn vow."

If you are writing your vows individually try the following:

1. Get together with your fiancé and first discuss general rules for your vows. For example, about how long they should be (ex. 5 sentences), that they should use the words "I love you" or "You are my best friend", etc. in them. You don't want one of you to write a book of vows while the other just says a few simple things, so make sure to discuss this beforehand.

2. When you get the chance to be alone, reminisce about how you met, what you felt when you realized you were in love, and how you felt when you decided to get married. Write down descriptive words for these feelings. For example, "love", "forever", "journey", etc.

3. Think about your relationship. Has there been a theme to your relationship, a favorite song, words you enjoy saying to one another? Write these down

4. Review how traditional vows are said.

For example:

• "In the name of God, I, Name take you, Name to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

5. Now think about how you can bring these things together. Think about what you like about the traditional vows and what you don't like. For the parts you don't like, how could you change them to your own words, to make them better?

6. Start writing your vows!

7. If you are still having trouble, try using our Vow Writing Worksheet and apply it to each of your individually. Do not practice your vows together unless you don't mind that they won't be a surprise.

8. Once you have written your vows, you will most likely want to talk with your Officiant about them. S/he may want to approve them and/or offer you some more suggestions.

9. As a side note: After your wedding, if your vows were especially meaningful to you, type both of them up, print them on nice paper, and frame them to hang in your house. This way, you will never forget them and you will always be reminded of how special and sacred they are to your marriage.